Why All Your Kids and Possibly Your Pets Should Take Statins

So as I was sucking down a plate of fatback with brown lard gravy and a side of butter pudding, I came across the new cardiac risk guidelines fresh off the press from the American Heart Association.

It seems that the “know your number” cholesterol campaign is sooo last year. The new and improved tool coming to a doctor’s office near you is the “cardiac risk calculator” which takes into account your age, sex, weight and whether or not you are a diabetic, a smoker, etc.

These factors, along with your cholesterol numbers, can be plugged into a magic calculator (donated by a Pfizer rep) which will spit out your “future cardiac risk”.  The new fashionable number is..ta da…7.5%.  Above that number? It will be a statin drug in your Christmas stocking this year, regardless of whether you currently have any symptoms of a heart problem or any health problem at all.

To this point, statins such as Lipitor have been the top-selling drugs of all time, with annual sales of $26 billion. One quarter of all adults in America are prescribed statin drugs. With the new guidelines coming out, it is estimated that this figure will jump to 44% of men and 22% of women.  And let’s not leave the kids out. In 2011, Pfizer came out with a chewable version of Lipitor so it could be prescribed to children. Coincidentally, this was right before the original patent expired. New product = new patent.

“Ok”, you’re thinking, “but if the statin drug lowers my cholesterol and prevents a heart attack, what’s the problem?”

In the next installment, I’ll tell you why statin drugs will ruin your health and how you can lower your risk of heart disease without drugs.

P.S. Watch the video. It’s very funny:)