If You Unfollow Me…I’ll Unfollow You

2014-05-03 14.17.53

I was casually perusing my stats page today, and I noticed that I have been unfollowed. Yes, I have few enough followers that I notice these things…so. This has happened a few times in my fledgling blogging career, and I know that it’s really stupid, but it kind of bothers me.

I started this project like many of you out there, to have a place to express my feelings and my creativity, to have an outlet, maybe to help someone in a similar situation. It was all hunky-dory. I wrote freely, cursed occasionally, and the words flew out like bees out of a broken hive.

Then I discovered this monster they call “stats”. Now I could actually get instant feedback on how my posts were being received. Uh oh. Just give me a pipe and sell me some meth. I wrote about my first encounters with the stats demon in “From Breast Cancer Blogger to Stats Whore”, where I undoubtedly lost some followers who were offended by the title.

Of course all of this is a product of my dysfunctional childhood longing to be loved in jest. I’m not really heartbroken or anything. It just makes you wonder. Did I write something that was so boring you couldn’t tolerate another post? Did you blindly follow me along with 1,000 others that day to see who would reciprocate? That last one doesn’t work very well with me. I actually read all of the material from people I follow, so I don’t follow everyone back who follows me. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

Most likely, someone either liked one of my photographs or poems and then got tired of hearing about breast cancer, or vice versa. I realized a while back that I may have to split my blog in two. I find myself trying to please two completely different audiences, and I have begun censoring what I write as a result. And that kind of defeats the purpose of having a blog in the first place.

I’m so scatter-brained Piscean, I scare myself sometimes. My mind has always been this way. I think horizontally, and my blog reflects that. I have many different interests, and even I never know which will take precedence on any given day. I’m sure this confuses my poor readers at times. I know this because sometimes in conversation I have to stop mid-sentence and explain to people how I arrived at the thought I’m sharing, which to them seems completely random and irrelevant, but to me makes perfect sense if you’re inside my head.

So what do you think? Do you feel like my blog would be more effective if I split it into two…one strictly about breast cancer and daily life, and another for my more creative side (photos, writing, poems)? You can be honest….just don’t unfollow me.

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From Breast Cancer Blogger To Stats Whore: A Confession

80’s CANCER JAM OF THE DAY:

FIRST THEY GET YOU HOOKED, THEN THEY HANG YOU OUT TO DRY

I started out this breast cancer blogging journey innocently enough. Like most of you, I wanted to share my journey, meet others in my situation, and just have a little fun along the way. Then I met the drug dealer on the playground I like to call “Stats”. You’ve heard of this guy. He gives you a free taste of blog success and then yanks it away faster than you can disable the cocaine lever in a lab rat’s cage. Soon your stats page looks something like this:

mom_graph_sketchy

 

Don’t give me that condescending, holier than thou eye roll. I hear you. “Oh, I never check my stats. I do this purely for the enlightenment and camaraderie. That’s pathetic.” Blah, Blah, Blah. You know you check every day, at least once, to see how many people have come to their senses and realized that you are the next Hemingway, or at least Tina Fey. And your little face lights up when you see that beautiful orange box at the top of the page, beckoning you to come see who liked you or cared enough to leave a comment.

I know it takes time and patience to build an audience, and I’m fine with that. Well, not really, but let’s say I am. Still, I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment when my only visitor of the day is from a tribal village in Uganda. And she was actually looking for “Breast Piercings”, not “Breast Cancer”. It’s not that I begrudge others’ success. Some people have very witty, original or just plain inspiring things to say out there. They deserve their massive, loyal following and their 57 blog awards. But then there are the others that make you wonder, “WTF?!?”

Tell me if you’ve ever come across this scenario:

RANDOM FICTIONAL POST

3573999469_6e8b52e12c_mMy pet aardvark Lola is having gender reassignment surgery in the morning. You, her loving fans, know how she has struggled with her sexual identity all these months! She will henceforth be called “Lou”. It’s a difficult surgery, as they have to attach her new penis through her pouch. Everybody send hugs and prayers her way.

Posted: 5 minutes ago               Likes: 7,945

Comments: 198

 

RANDOM SAMPLE READER COMMENT:

“Oh, Lola, Godspeed! You have been my inspiration and my guiding light. I worship you. I adore you. I have nominated you for 36 awards, including 2014 ‘Blog of the Year’. I know it’s not 2014 yet, but who could possibly top you?”

And, as if that’s not bad enough, you come across a blog that does inspire you. You are moved to show your appreciation to the author in a sincere, well thought out comment. And you get the following reply:

“Neat”

And you think to yourself, “I hope Lola gets ball cancer.”