It’s D-Day…No Really

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If it looks like I’m slightly off-kilter in this picture, it’s merely a temporary unevenness caused by the drugs, making it somewhat difficult to stand in place without listing to one side (and to make sense, according to the number of times I’ve had to re- type words).

This morning I had surgery to exchange my breast tissue expanders for the permanent implants which will call my chest home. This will be almost the last step in a breast cancer treatment odyssey that began last March. The surgery itself lasted only an hour and a half, but I had to be there as the roosters were standing in line at Starbucks, getting coffee before crowing.

Nothing to eat or drink after midnight, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t eat, but I did have a few slugs of java and a little water. I know, I know.  Poor listening skills. I was simply trying to avoid the all-out tactical assault that was involved in starting my I.V. last time due to dehydration. I have to say that went stunningly better this go round.

I had to bring my new front-zip sports bra into the OR with me so they could bend my arms backwards and jam me into it lovingly slip me into it to hold the new cleavage down and reduce swelling. My post-op appointment is tomorrow morning, and you better believe I’ll fix my hair before I see the doctor this time.

When I came in after my last surgery, he asked “Did you even comb your hair today?” Now, mind you that I had been throwing up for the previous 24 hours due to anesthesia, and he was really lucky I made it at all. But Dr. Boob is a character, and I really love his smart-ass dry sense of humor (perhaps because I share it), so I had to take it in stride.

Here’s an example of an exchange we had yesterday:

Me: I think your medical assistant screwed up. She said something about a bilateral testicular implant.

Dr. Boob: Yes. We’re throwing that in as a promotion.

Me: (reflecting for a moment) Well, I have always felt like a man trapped in a woman’s body.

Dr. Boob: And now we’ll be making that a reality for you.

And this is how we roll on any given day. It’s a game to see who has to think longer before replying.

Right now, I’m feeling about a thousand percent better than after my last surgery, but it realize that part of that is the rather large dose of steroids they gave me through my I.V. I brought my anesthesia records with me so we could go over them and come up with a better game plan for nausea. I got Emend, like they give before chemo, and a Scopolamine patch behind the ear. So far, so good. Always be your own best advocate!

Apparently, from what I’ve read about implant reconstruction, there is a “drop and fluff” period of a few weeks, which sounds like you brought some dirty towels to the dry cleaners. What this means is that your implants will settle and look fuller as they begin to heal.

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It’s truly anyone’s guess as to what size you will end up when all is said and done, as there are so many variables of chest width, body type, height, etc. Dr. Boob told me to go by the tissue expander on the non-radiated side, so I hope that’s what I get in this odd box of Cracker Jack boobs. All I can say is that I was fitting into a 34D before surgery, and that’s the size of the sports bra you see.

I’ll post some pics as the “drop and fluff” progresses. As for now, I have to go was my hair and style my hair so I’ll be ready for tomorrow!

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11 thoughts on “It’s D-Day…No Really

  1. You made me chuckle this morning. Glad all went well. I’m almost 4 weeks post the same surgery and can report that is true about the “drop and fluff”… I can see why they don’t finish us off until at least 6 weeks post-op so that everything can be in the right place! I’m not completely dropped and fluffed yet, but just this week I noticed the difference and the swelling has really subsided. I was a DD bu

    • … Oops posted comment before I was finished! I was a DD but will now be a C/D I think. I’m determined to lose weight from the lower half so that the upper half looks bigger 😄 Rest up and heal well.

      • I’m glad I read about the “drop and fluff” delay, or I might have been disappointed. The surgeon didn’t really mention it. Of course, he’s probably busy working on smart-alecky comments for tomorrow’s appt:)

  2. Dr. Boob sounds wonderful. If he’s remotely attractive and has a reasonable emotional IQ, I’m thinking you should date him when this whole thing is over:).

    • Thank you! The implants have to settle into their new pockets to create their final shape and projection is what I’m told. Right now they’re a little flattish.

  3. I’m so glad this part of it is going well. Expanders were real suffering for me and I was happy to get on with the “drop and fluff.” Unfortunately, my sisters remained somewhat flattened two years out.
    Yours look beautiful by the way, if I can say that

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