Breast Cancer Christmas Carols

I would usually insert an 80’s CANCER JAM OF THE DAY here, but I have a special treat in store for you. Nothing captures the spirit of the holidays more than “The Twelve Months of Treatment”.  Who wants a partridge in a pear tree anyway?


In the twelve months of treatment, breast cancer gave to me:

Twelve dates with Taxol,

Eleven flashes flashing,

Ten years of payments,

Nine nurses poking,

Eight pain meds I’m milking,

Seven different doctors,

Six weeks of burning,

Five years of Ta-mox-i-fen!

Four kinds of scans,

Three sur-ger-ies,

Two missing boobs,

And sep-sis from the port they put in me.

Can’t you just hear Bing Crosby in the background while you’re roasting those chestnuts? And no, I don’t really have 8 pain meds!


9 thoughts on “Breast Cancer Christmas Carols

  1. Love it! My 2013 almost fits this song, except my big infection is around an expander post mastectomy, requiring more surgery last Monday and a current hospital stay to be pumped full of antibiotics. Roll on 2014!

  2. LMAO!!!!!!! I have tears I’m laughing so hard!!!! I’m so going along in my head with you! This is truly great ( sadly true). How about, ” all I want for christmas are two perky boobs”, instead of front teeth???

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